What would I do to keep my dad from losing his home?
That is the question that weighs most on my mind, since learning he had a balloon payment due on his home loan, that the bank is not willing to refinance. The hardest thing I can think of, is to ask for help, but here I am... asking YOU to help.
Happy Birthday Dad
On March 25, 2010 my dad got an unlikely present for his birthday... his mother-in-law for a roommate. After my mom's mom got tangled up with a conman, who kidnapped her and looted her retirement (I couldn't even make it up!), we moved her in with us. She was just starting to show sings of Alzheimer's Disease and couldn't live alone after her ordeal. Without hesitation, my dad opened his arms wide and welcomed her into our home. As her health continued to decline, so too did my mom's.
Happy Birthday Mom
On July 20, 2012, my mom's 65th birthday, I cut up her favorite cake and passed it out to her doctors and nurses, before I quietly sang happy birthday to her, and then we took her off life support. Three days earlier, when she finally qualified for insurance, she had the cataract surgery she'd been looking forward to for over two years. She experienced complications in surgery and went into respiratory arrest. By the time they were able to intubate her, unbeknownst to us, her brain had already been starved of oxygen too long. She spent three days in a forced coma, and on the morning of her birthday they told us her brain was dead. It was unquestionably the hardest day of our lives!
Welcome to 24/7 Alzheimer's Caregiving
Things didn't get much easier after that. Together, as he recovered from back surgery and we both tried to recover from loosing my mother, we also took on caring for my grandma "Dottie" 24/7. The only distinguishably benefit of the Alzheimer's, was grandma's inability to comprehend the loss of her daughter. Other than that, it was a very difficult journey to say the very least. It was long and hard and nearly enough to break us emotionally and financially. We learned all about Alzheimer's rage, as grandma chased me around the house trying to kill me. And we learned how long I could endure it, before cracking. When I couldn't handle another second, dad stepped in with his infinite compassion and patience, and magically calmed her down. Before too long, he would convince her to sit on the couch with him, touching foreheads and holding hands. Grandma didn't know he was her son-in-law. To her he was her husband, so he played along and it worked.
In July 2014, only two years after losing my mom and having his last back surgery, dad found himself in a wheel-chair, unable to walk, so he went back in for another spinal fusion. As he recovered from one surgery after another, we continued to care for Dottie 24/7. We took care of her for 6 years, before she passed away at the age of 98, on October 1, 2016. A few days later we learned dad would need his 11th spinal fusion.
As soon as I realized I wouldn't be able to go back to work full-time right away, I contacted the bank to see if we could make arrangements on the payments until he was recovered. That was when they notified me of his balloon payment. The full amount of the loan is due on June, 18th. My mom managed all the finances and had kept it from us. She knew way back in 2010, after the conman stole all of grandma's money, she wouldn't have the funds to make the payment. No doubt she was counting on the inheritance she had been promised to pay it off, but that's not how our luck has gone.